I started this blog entry at least a year ago. Longer, if Prince has been dead for over a year… I started this post while hearing the song “Ventura Highway,” which seems different from the Prince song “Purple Rain.” I still don’t know why anyone would use the brief metaphor used in a song like “Ventura Highway” as a starting point for a song that seems as fundamental or universal or otherwise meaningful to so many people. Maybe something in the sentiment expressed by the ‘70s song doesn’t fit in my ‘80s perspective.
Frankly, by the time the album _Purple Rain_ came out, I was already disheartened with the World and my prospects in a society that didn’t seem to accept a nerdy guy. I don’t feel unhappy with my decision to be a nerdy guy, I don’t think a Ph.D. in Physics is something to feel ashamed of. I do feel a bit chagrinned that I still don’t understand Prince’s music on an intellectual level, even though I do understand it on the level of having a good beat and being able to dance to it.
I come back to this blog post after trying to write it a few times. I keep missing the sentiment I wish to capture, how the line containing the words ‘purple rain’ makes me feel. It doesn’t matter today, since I find myself in a situation I haven’t been in for many years. I am currently visiting family after visiting with a friend from grad school a couple weeks ago. Like the sentiment in “Ventura Highway,” I find myself unable to capture the feeling of change and permanence wrapped into the experience of visiting a place or people I knew extremely well about 15 years ago, but can’t quite get comfortable with these days. I do hope everyone understands this has more to do with my experiences since seeing these people and places last than the people and places themselves, or me for that matter. It’s difficult to think, ‘I wanted to live the rest of my life here,’ when ones life has become tethered to hopes and dreams created somewhere else. I do think this sentiment exists in “Ventura Highway” somewhere.
Something has changed, since I started this blog entry as well. It’s not acceptance, as much as resignation. The World moved on, Prince died, and I have to run to catch up. Actually, it’s less benign than that: Based on research I have read and heard about, it’s also willful neglect. Not by myself, but rather by people who act in a risk adverse sometimes discriminatory manner. This is where the resignation comes in. It’s also why I feel tethered to a place I had left and returned to years ago. As one could imagine, I think it’s intrinsically unfair to think someone in my situation can’t change or adapt, but so it goes… And where should I go? Where is the need or opportunity great enough to require people think “outside the box?” I don’t know the answer to this question, like I don’t know what the point of purple rain is on Ventura Highway.
“I think we have a very nice quality.”
-From the album Rayguns Are Not The Future
In an attempt to define the rules that will form this blog, I will use this style guide to compensate for a lack of substance. Any similarity to Lars von Trier is purely intentional, though this does not void the license included below and in no way seeks to compare my work with his:
- Each post must stand on its own merits
- This blog can be self-derived, but must reflect the general culture it seeks to describe with appropriate attribution
- One cannot consider any entry complete, the dates only reflect when the original idea was formulated
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